When Life Hands you Lemons

Sometimes I think these things only happen to me. This morning I was thinking God must be getting a kick out of my life; like maybe He's looking for a little comedic relief from all the crazy crap happening in the world, so He allows the funniest things to happen...just to get a little laugh...and to remind me to keep laughing at myself.

It started out to be a great morning. Scott flew to NJ last night for training so I was on solo mommy duty-- the last time he was away on travel I got about three hours of sleep because Ava was up ALL night. Last night, however, I didn't get up once. Both girls slept through the night and Ella was the first one up at 7:20. Not bad.

Our babysitter Ashley showed up at 8:30 so that I could get out to run some errands and relish in a little mommy time at Panera, with my coffee and my computer.  Looking forward to getting out for a couple of hours I finished fixing breakfast for the girls, grabbed my computer bag, put my coat on and headed out to my in-laws car which we had borrowed for our weekend road trip to Ohio and had not yet returned.

I get in the car, turn the key, and nothing. Turn it again. Nothing. The car is completely dead.

Are you serious?

I walk inside, unsure what my next step will be, but feeling really disappointed to not be able to get out until my darling babysitter (Ashley, you really are the best!) offers me her car!

So, now I'm out, driving in my babysitters Ford Taurus with a Hello Kitty bumper sticker on the back that reads, "I love nerds", and plastic dangly beads and butterflies hanging from the review mirror.

He, he, he.

Because our grocery bills have been so high lately and Aldi (a pretty economical grocery store which makes you pay for shopping carts and grocery bags, but where you save oodles on some grocery items) had grapes on sale for .89 lb. (a steal!) I decided to be good mommy, wife, domestic diva, and save some money by running in to get some groceries.

I flew through the store grabbing everything I had come for, plus more, and landed myself at the cash register with $27 in groceries and some really good deals.

"You take checks, right?" I say to the lady who is cashing me out.

"No, just debit and cash," she says.

Shit. I knew I had left my debit card in my other purse at home, but was certain they took checks!

"Really? Just, cash and debit, huh? No checks?"

"Nope," she says as she looks at me with a raised eyebrow to imply  'didn't I just say that?"

I start fumbling through my wallet, pulling out random singles and change.

"I have $14."

I'm turning red at this point.

"Can we put some stuff back?"

The cashier is being really sweet at this point because I think she feels really bad for the fumbly, bumbly lady in front of her who can't pay for her groceries.

So, one at a time, like in some strange game of The Price is Right, we take items off of my bill, until, the price is right.

I have my receipt to prove that we removed a bag of Salmon, then bananas, then kiwi and tomatoes and romaine hearts and apples and finally Italian salad dressing, to bring me to a final total of...

$13.13.

I'm not an overly superstitious person, but isn't 13 one of the most unlucky numbers?

I looked at the cashier...

"I really better just go home and go back to bed."

She just laughed.

After that I got back into my babysitter's Taurus and drove, literally, like 30 mph, making sure I had my seatbelt on and that I wasn't talking on my cell phone (illegal in NY) because I was SURE I was going to be pulled over very soon.

I decided to drive to Wegmans (where I knew they took charge cards) to buy the rest of my groceries and when a little Chinese lady asked me to help her find the medium sized heavy cream in the dairy case I was thrilled to help because I needed this day to move in a different direction.

And, after I told my story to the cashier at Wegmans, giving her a good chuckle, she asked if I'd like to round up my total to the nearest dollar by donating .59 to the local food bank. I often say no. Not today.

"I'd LOVE to," I say smiling, "I need to move my karma in a different direction!"

She just laughed, bid me farewell and good luck and said I'd better drive straight home!

Ahhhh. When life hands you lemons, smile and make lemon aid, or like my brother Cliff likes to say,

"Life's a garden. Dig it!"

I'm digging and drinking and laughing.

Life, thanks for the smiles.

Can't wait to see what awaits me when I head home to my two munchkins.