To Mall or Not to Mall...No Longer a Question!

     There was a time in my life when the mall + kids equated to an o.k. situation.

     Alright, let me take that back...There was a time in my life when mall + kid (singular! not plural) equated to an o.k. situation.

     Like when Ava was a very small baby, still in a stroller and unable to walk and I could hand her puffs and juice and stroll leisurely through the mall because I was either bored at home or needed something new to make me feel better about my post child figure.

     The mall + 2 small children, however, is NEVER, ever, ever, ever really an o.k. situation. I don't know why I try to convince myself otherwise.

      I knew better when I took them there the other day, but I figured I'd be quick...just this once...AND, I didn't want to stare at the stupid Pottery Barn wreath that I ordered, along with the napkins and high priced holiday "berries" that I added (to get to a total of $50 so I could use my coupon for $25 off a $50 order) any longer...

     Want to know why I didn't want to stare at it any longer?

     Because the day I got it in the mail I was so excited to hang it on my front door that I ran down to the basement to gather the other fall decorations that I had nicely set aside in a bin labeled "Fall Decorations"...too bad I didn't open that bin before I placed my Pottery Barn order...

     Guess what?

     I ordered the same stinkin' wreath last Fall with the same stinkin' coupon and it was in my stinkin' "Fall Decorations" bin all along...

     This, my friends, is what has happened to my brain since kids...mush...pure mush....

     So anyway, it's a nice fall day and we pile in the car to and head to the mall.

     Not sure if you've ever tried to do a  Pottery Barn return with two children...let's just say, not a great place to do a return with two small children. My dialogue sounded like this as I tried to complete my transaction with the sales girl (who EVIDENTLY did NOT have children!).

     "Yes, yes, I need to return this."

     "DON'T put your feet on the couch it is VERY light tan!!! Ella, we DON'T put our dirty feet on couches in stores."

     "Did you want to look around?" she asks.

     "Who? Me? Oh NO! I can't shop with these....ELLA, do not touch those vases!!!...with these two! I don't even usually do...AVA, put those apples (fake!) back, they are not ours!... What was I saying, I'm sorry."

     "Oh, it's o.k. I'll just finish this up for you."

     "Yes, yes, that would be great!"

     "Ella, you can not take the lids off of those jars! Put those back before you break something!"

     We do somehow finally make it out of the store unscathed and without having to purchase any broken merchandise...and then head to the Gap (to buy two t-shirts for a scheduled photo session the next day) and Old Navy for a Halloween costume.

     All of our errands are successful, despite Ava knocking Ella down on the floor in the Gap...I mean like flat on her back down...to which the sales lady said, "Ooooh...that was loud, she hit her head hard"...I pick Ella up, and put Ava in a time out on the bottom of a sales rack...

     We manage to buy Ella a costume and even purchase lunch in the food court...though I must confess to having asked two 18ish looking old girls and one 18ish looking old boy...with a 2 year old sitting next to them (I think he was the father, though I can't be sure) to watch the girls while I ran to grab Ella a slice of pizza because she refused to eat the Teriyaki Chicken I had purchased for Ava...not my crowning best mom moment, but I didn't have much choice and I was completely watching them the entire time I was in line.

     We finish lunch, ride the elevator and escalator one more time each (this is the only reason my children come to the mall!) and head home...at which point I realize I have my Old Navy bag, but no Gap bag...

     Apparently, I had left my Gap bag somewhere in Old Navy. It is a complete mystery to me where I may have left it because I was trying to get the girls to keep from knocking over the clothing racks they were attempting to hide beneath while I looked for a costume...however, when I called the store they had miraculously found it and so I asked them to hold it until later in the day when I could get back to get it.

     So....Ella and I made a second trip to the mall that night...to pick up the missing bag from Old Navy and return the shirts to the Gap because I had consequentially determined that black was not a good t-shirt color for a nice fall picture of my children.

     For those of you who are my Facebook friends, you likely know the rest of the story...but just in case you do not it goes like this...

     Ella and I spend about 20 minutes rifling through racks of clothing trying to find 2 t-shirts that will coordinate with each other and with the silver skirts I have at home for the girls. I am finally successful at finding shirts and ready to get out of the store because I am actually supposed to have Ella at the Doctor's office in about 20 minutes for a late appointment because she had been coughing for days like an old man with emphesma (although, come to find out her lungs apparently sound completely fine!).

     We are finally cashing out and I am about to sign my receipt when I here, "Mommy...I peeing"

     Oh my.

     I look down...big puddle on the floor, pee coming out of the pant of her jeans and soaking through EVERYTHING...pants, underwear, socks, shoes...she has soaked herself and puddled the floor as two sales girls stand watching and a gentleman stands behind me in line.

     I look at the cashier, eyes wide, "I'm so sorry!"

     The cashiers were great and, if you did read my Facebook post you would know that the scariest part of the entire situation was that I was not even embarrassed...I'm thinking I lost that part of my brain along with the rest of my brain that has gone to mush...One sales clerk grabbed paper towels and bless her soul, wiped up my daughter's pee. Another helped me quickly find underwear and pant and another came to console me in the dressing room with stories of her own son doing the same thing.

     This is what I LOVE about being a mom...it is this total fellowship of women who completely understand things like pee on floors at stores. They don't judge you, they don't criticize you, they simply help you clean up the mess and move on your way!

     So, here is Ella holding up her new undies in the dressing room...yes, I did stop her for a moment to take a picture. If we were going to be in the middle of something that crazy I was going to certainly document it for future laughs!

      My wreath is hanging on my front door, the pictures have been taken, and Ella's cough is getting better...

     ....but perhaps most importantly, I will NOT be going to the mall today, or anytime soon with my children...until, that is,  I get really, REALLY bored, or perhaps re-order something else that I already own...I'm thinking Christmas decorations...

Messy is Ok

I imagine my life is not the only one that feels messy more than it feels neat, orderly and in control. 

By messy I am referring to the physical and the circumstantial. For example, my house. It is WAY more often messy than it is clean. Here are a few pictures from today:

This is really pretty clean for the house, but you know what I mean. There is always, always STUFF all over the place. Random stuff. Dumbells, diapers, a toothbrush, a bracelet, pieces of toilet paper, empty bottles (baby bottles, that is...don't get the wrong idea here!), toys, scarves, miscellaneous shoes, cups, socks without a partner...stuff. 

A friend of mine (Here's to you Ellen!) joked the other day that she felt like a perfectionist, but not an ordinary perfectionist, a perfectionist in her mind! You know, you want things to be perfect but are so overwhelmed by the task that you don't actually make them perfect and so you live in chaos, but frustrated about it, because you want it to be perfect. Do you ever feel that way? I do all the time. 

I am a type A person in my head. The type that wants my surroundings to be neat and orderly in order for me to feel peaceful. The type of person that likes plans, and to know what is coming next. I make my husband crazy planning our days minute by minute sometimes...poor guy. The thing is, especially with little kids, and because neither my husband nor I are super disciplined people, that things are not always so neat and orderly and planned...and therefore I find myself feeling frustrated by that a lot of the time. How silly is that?! 

Having kids has been a real lesson in patience in this area of my life. In learning to LET GO! 

I was reminded of this when I started painting with Ava earlier today. 

I looked at the table at one point and wanted to start cleaning everything up, putting everything in order, wiping her hands incessantly, but instead I stepped back and said, "Lisa, let it go. Let her paint. Let her smoosh her hands in it and get it ALL over the paper. It's part of the process." 

Deep breath. Ok. Let go. 

And so I did and it was fun. 

 I'm trying to do that more with life. Deep breath. Ok. Let go.


After all, I figure, if things are going to be messy more often than they are clean, why would I want to be crabby more often than I'm happy? 


Boy, sometimes I think I'm finally growing up. 


But then someone pulls all of my maxi pads out of a box and leaves them scattered around the bathroom floor and I sigh and huff and puff, and realize I have a LONG way to go...

Another Messy Mommy Day

It's been one of those days. 


Scott works from home many days and his office is in our basement...at about 9:30 this morning he said, "Lis, what the heck is going on up there?"


I just raised my eyebrows and shook my head. Crying baby, whining toddler, food smattered around the kitchen, explosive poopy diapers, said baby pulling things over, said toddler knocking baby over. 


These are the days that usually prompt me to think that it is a good idea to get out of the house.


These are the same days that it usually turns out to be not such a good idea to get out of the house.


Nonetheless, we took another afternoon trip to Wegmans to do our grocery shopping. I was going to go last night, but it got late and it was snowing pretty heavily so I decided to try to take the girls today. 


I stopped grocery shopping during the day after Ella was born, and now I remember why.   


Wegman's has a childcare room for kids 3-8 (I know Ava is not yet 3, that's another story all together.) When we entered the store I was holding Ava's hand and had Ella in the shopping cart, but knew I should take Ava to the bathroom because whoever the childcare worker was was not going to be able to take her. So, we parked our cart outside of the bathroom, I carried Ella in, and then proceeded to balance her on my knee while I put toilet paper down, unbuttoned Ava's jeans, helped her up on the potty, helped her wipe and then helped her get her pants back up. 


We didn't even wash her hands (gross!!!) because I didn't know what to do with Ella(there were no stools and the sink was higher than Ava's head)! This was the first time I took both of them into a store with Ella out of her infant carrier. She is getting way to big for it, but now I remember why I've kept her in it for so long...because I can just set it on the floor while I do things like help toddlers go to the bathroom and wash their hands. 


We finally get Ava into the childcare room, which she seemed ok about (a small miracle) and Ella and I began our shopping. Twenty minutes later my pager starts going off. 


Ava has a tendency to freak out in childcare settings sometimes, so I'm imagining her red-faced and crying screaming for me as I push the cart all the way back to the front of the store to check things out. 


She's fine. She just claims to have to go to the bathroom. 


Alrighty then. 


We push the cart, now half full of groceries to the bathroom, leave it parked outside the door with my purse, jacket, and Ava's coat, go in, wait for a very small stall and, guess what?


I balance Ella on my knee while I help pull Ava's pants down, put toilet paper down, and hoist her up on the toilet at which point she does in fact poop for the first time in a public restroom. 


Cool. 


We wipe, pull up pants, flush toilets, and cannot wash her hands again because my hands are holding Ella, but we do find some hand sanitizer. 


I put her back in childcare, manage to launch $170 worth of groceries in my cart because I can no longer think clearly about what I need and Ella has eaten my grocery list. 


Here is the funniest part of the entire afternoon; after the very nice lady at the checkout offers a grocery pick-up for me, which I readily accept, I get the girls both strapped back in the car, take a deep breath and proceed to drive home...Without my groceries. 


Yes, that's right. We drive a good 200-300 yards from the grocery story before I realize that my groceries are waiting at the pick-up door! 


Me: "Oh Shoot!"


Ava: "What's wrong mommy?"


Me: "I forgot our groceries!"


Ava: "YOu forgot our groceries?!" 


Me: "Yes." 


Ava: "Oh. We better go back and get them."


Me: "Yes, we better." 


We finally got home almost two hours later and I managed to put the girls down for naps and laid in bed for a good 40 minutes myself...just because I felt so beat up. 


I love my children, but I won't lie, I look forward to the days when they are in school and I can grocery shop by myself again. I don't want to rush things...but...


I guess I'll go back to night shopping for now. 


And, when I'm most crabby, I force myself to count my blessings, so here goes:


I AM THANKFUL FOR!!!!
1. a hubby who give great neck rubs and gives them freely.
2. the ability to buy groceries and to have a house to return to with them.
3. an hour and a half of mommy time while the girls nap to collect my thoughts.
4. Bible Study tonight.
5. Our wonderful friends Mark and Sara and their two little girls who were able to visit from Massachusetts this past weekend. Hugs to you all. We miss you already!