The Original Love Language

   

     Some days the words pitter and patter from my mind towards the ceiling...they are circular and anxious and feel meaningless...I offer them because I know there is nothing else I can do...when I am most confused, the only place to turn is prayer...

     Other days, like yesterday, I head out for a jog in 35 degree weather and the glory of the sun, and the brisk air in my lungs and the rhythmic put, put, put, put of my feet on the pavement leads me to spontaneous praise for things all around me that I take for granted far. far. too. often.

     And on mornings like today, when my alarm fails to go off (because I accidentally set if for p.m. instead of a.m.) and I am 15 minutes late for a doctor's appointment, I call and tell them I will be late and decide to turn the worship music on in the car and sing praises to God, because what other thing could be done to make better use of a 15 minutes that I would have likely spent breathing shallowly, and thinking anxiously about how I hate...HATE...did I say hate (that's actually a bad word in our house...the girls are NOT allowed to use it, though they try to slip it into questions like "Mommy is it o.k. if I say 'I hate jello? Or, I hate peppers? Or, I hate mushrooms"...yes, my dears, I suppose that is o.k.) to be late.

     Instead of being anxious  about being late I said, "Thank you God for this time" and I sang...

     ...hopefully you weren't watching me (:

     I'm done thinking that it is pure coincidence that the mornings I get up to pray are the days that I have more patience and am more graceful to everyone.

     I'm done thinking that the extra 20 minutes in bed will be better for my health...really Lisa?

     "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you"...those words, they seem to be ringing as a mantra in my head this week.

     I am using them to replace the ugly, the stressed, the ungracious that rings in my mind far too often.

So how do we seek Him first...prayer...first and foremost. 

"The men who have done the most for God in this world have been early on their knees. He who fritters away the early morning, its opportunity and freshness, in other pursuits than seeking God will make poor headway seeking Him the rest of the day. If God is not first in our thoughts and efforts in the morning, He will be in the last place the remainder of the day."  E.M. Bounds

If I become better at just one thing this year...If one thing could become more of a regular practice...not even just a daily practice, because it already is...but a moment by moment practice...a pray without ceasing practice...that would be a worthy resolution...

A Postion of Prayer

 

      I got down on my hands and knees in the middle of my living room to pray this morning.

     I hesitate to even share this because it was such a beautiful, intimate moment with God and sometimes the world of the web seems so very far from beautiful and intimate.

     Having just returned from a blogging and writing conference this past weekend I feel even more acutely that the internet, and all that we are distracted from in it, can be SO far from holy sometimes. But God uses all to bring Him Glory, and can use the internet too... so I pray that this post would meet your heart in a holy place today...that it is not one more thing to distract you from taking care of your children, or loving your husband, or meeting with God...but that it would ultimately prod you to do all of those things more fully...

     I went to this conference this weekend hoping to learn how to become a better writer...

     I came home wanting to love Jesus more fully. Wanting to be a better wife and a better mother.

     Love how God does that. Takes what we think we need and turns it into a way to teach us what He needs from us. To teach us what we really need...and how far it sometimes is from what we think we need.

     So this morning I awoke early to steal some moments from a quiet house. I was praying...writing...thinking...reading...praying and eventually felt compelled to get out of my chair.

     First I thought it was my mind being my silly mind.

     "No. This is fine. That's silly."

     The feeling persisted.

     So I folded my hands and bowed my head low in my lap. Surely this was a more holy way to meet God.

    The feeling persisted.

    I got on my knees, next to my chair and rested my elbows on the cushions. Surely this was a more holy way to meet God.

    Alright, I won't lie here...the chair stunk. Like gym class. It's an old chair...it was my husband's great- grandfathers, passed down to his mom, passed  to us. It's been reupholstered, but it is still old. Many have sat, my kids stinky feet have stood. It smelled like gym class and morning breath.

     Surely this was NOT a more holy way to meet God.

    And so I moved to the floor. I got on my knees and bowed my head low. I felt silly and humbled...and realized NOW I was ready to go before God. He high...me low...a place worthy enough to pray.

     The truth...again...I was initially pretty distracted.

     My kids are going to pitter patter down those stairs any moment. "Mom!" They will say, "Are you o.k?" They will surely think I've finally lost my mind. 

     Or my husband's heavier footsteps, "Lis, What's up? You o.k.?"

     Or my mother in law who was also sleeping upstairs. Surely I don't want my mother in law to think I've lost it...(Although she is certainly reading this and I love her greatly!).

     "Oh honey...are you o.k.?" I can hear her say.

     "Yes everyone. I'm o.k." I said in my mind. "I'm actually more than o.k. now that I am on the floor."

     I thought for a moment about an image I saw this weekend...an image of a gathering of middle easterners all bowed low...they get on the floor five times a day to worship a god who doesn't even speak back...what we can learn from that!

     I tried to pray. I was still distracted. All that moving around, and thinking about people walking in on me, and the newness of being on my knees. So I started the way I start when I'm distracted...I started with the words Jesus gave us to use in prayer...

     "Our Father, who art in heaven...Hallowed! Praise! Praise! Praise! to your name (sometimes I improvise!).
     Thy Kingdom come...Thy will be done...
      On Earth...here on my dirty living room floor...as it is in heaven!"

     I finished the Lord's prayer and we went on to have a great dialogue...Me on the floor looking up to my father like a small child on the floor looking to their parent for guidance and instruction...

     It was good. It was right. It was holy.

     And no one even came down the stairs....

Praying for your children

This may be a short posting as the girls are due to wake up any minute, but it's an important one, so here goes! 


I've been reading through Genesis this month (it started as an attempt to read the Bible in a year, but I've taken that expectation off of myself. I'm enjoying reading at my own pace-- some days more, some days less. My intention is to read through the whole Bible, but not on a timeline) and have been encouraged by God's conversations with Abraham. 


While I could go on and on about the interactions that Abraham has with God in these early chapters (perhaps I will at a later time) I was most struck this morning by a verse in chapter 17. Abraham is talking to God, who promises to give him a child through his wife Sarah. As part of that conversation Abraham says to God, "If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!" (Ishmael is his child born to him through his wife's maidservent in an act of distrust that he would ever have a child through Sarah). 


I love the heart of Abraham here asking for a blessing for his child. I'm ashamed to even admit this, but in the 2 1/2 years that I've been a mom I don't know if I've ever formally asked God to bless my children. I've prayed for them, though not consistently...I've said bedtime prayers with Ava, though not consistently. But I don't know if I've ever just said boldly, "If only Ava and Ella might live under your blessing!" Wow. That's powerful. It feels like maybe the most important thing I could do for my children. 


Boy, do I ever feel like I'm just stumbling along as a mom sometimes, especially when it comes to integrating my faith and motherhood. I am thankful for new mercies and a new start every morning. 


Thank you God for your word and it's teaching in my life. I pray that Ava and Ella may live under your blessing. Amen.