Angry People and Forbidden Parking Spots

Wow, there are a lot of angry people in the world...or maybe they're just all in Buffalo.

I'm guessing that's not the case though.

I was the victim of an angry person assault recently. Here's what happened...

Last Friday I was doing a little bit of writing at Panera and had my laptop with me and had it plugged into the wall. About an hour into my time at Panera I met up with an older, very experienced local freelance writer to chat about the business, etc. Because I got very involved in our conversation, I had shut my computer down and set it aside. By the time we finished chatting I needed to run over and pick the girls up from preschool.

No, I did not forget my computer if you're wondering if that is where this is going.

I did, however, leave the power cord plugged into the wall in the process of quickly packing up my computer and running to the car to pick up the girls on time.

Perhaps the real lesson here is...SLOW DOWN...I seem to get into a lot of trouble for moving too quickly sometimes....

That said, I realized later that day that I had forgotten my power cord, called Panera to confirm that they had it (they did) and told them I'd be by the next day to pick it up.

Enter crabby person portion of the story...

Scott was gone with Ava on Saturday morning (he took her to a ski lesson), so Ella and I were flying solo. By the time we cleaned up a lot of the house, put a weeks worth of laundry away and got dressed, it was 11:45...by the time we pulled into Panera's parking lot it was about 12:15 on a Saturday afternoon.

Have you ever pulled into a Panera parking lot at 12:15 on a Saturday afternoon? Yup...it was exactly what you'd expect. Jam packed with cars, parked and looking for spaces, and not a space to be found...It was also snowing pretty heavily and cold and wet so the thought of parking far behind the restaruant and dragging my 3 year old into the mob scene that Panera was did not strike me as particularly appealing....

I knew that they had my power cord behind the counter and that I would be very quick...

I made a judgement call...pull into the handicapped space at the front of Panera (where I could see the car through the front window), throw my flashers on, lock the doors (Ella was in the car), and run as quickly as possible so as to not keep the space from someone who needed it.

I figured, honestly, that if someone who really needed the spot showed up that they would be clued in by the fact that my flashers were on and they would wait the minute it would take me to grab my power cord for me to pull out and they could have their spot...

Was it a selfish decision? Perhaps. Until you have run errands with small children in the car on snowy, slushy days, please don't judge!

Can you see where this is going?

I ran in, went straight to the counter, asked the girl for my power cord, she asked her manager and he said, "Yes, we have it. One second."

In that one second, the tallest, angriest woman I have EVER encountered planted herself square in front of my face.

She was probably in her late 40's, about 5'11 (to my 5'1) and the anger in her face nearly knocked me to the floor before she even spoke.

"YA KNOW!!!!" Her entire speech was one big CAPS..."YOU SHOULD NEEEVVVERRRRR PARK IN A HANDICAP PARKING SPOT".

She was screaming at me in front of the ENTIRE restaurant.

"Uh... I'm uh...sorry...I just needed to grab...."

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NEEDED TO DO. YOU SHOULD NEVER PARK THERE!!!!"

"I'm sorry my daughter was in the car...and I just needed..."

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE DOING...I HAVE AN ELDERLY MOTHER WHO IS ON HER WAY HERE AND SHE NEEDS A HANDICAPPED PARKING SPOT."

I'm honestly not sure what else she said. She continued to scream at me as I stare at her dumfounded.

Seriously. Is this an issue of Seinfeld? Funniest Home videos? Some other reality show. I have NEVER parked in a handicapped parking spot in my ENITRE life and the one day that I do, with my FLASHERS on and my 3 year old in the car, I get verbally accosted by this woman?!

I was getting quite angry at this point...

"Excuse me. I said I was sorry. My 3 year old is in the car and I needed to run in here for 2 minutes."

"I DON'T CARE! YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT HER INTO THE STORE! MY MOTHER NEEEEEEEDDDDDSSS THAT SPOT!"

In the meantime the cashier handed me my chord and started wide-eyed at the vicious dragon lady yelling at me.

I looked at the cashier with wide eyes, looked at that lady...

She pretty much looked like this...

"Whatever!" is all that came out of my mouth...not very graceful, or insightful, or poignant...I was completely flustered...

I ran so fast that I nearly knocked an older couple over when I pushed the door open to go outside...

"I'm sorry...I just got yelled at," I said...they stared too...

I got in the car and pulled out as quickly as possible...

And then I started crying...big...alligator tears...I was so flustered by the entire situation...

You see, I'm a pretty nice, easy going, person. I'm kind to other when I'm out. I smile at people. I even sit for several extra minutes when an elderly person tries to strike up a conversation at a coffee shop because they are alone and want someone to talk to.

I am a NICE person. Nice people don't know what to say to very, very angry people. We don't encounter them that often.

Poor Ella...I had promised to take her out to lunch. First we pulled into the grocery store parking lot where we were going to eat...I was still crying...we pulled out.

Then we drove 15 minutes back towards home and into the McDonald's parking lot...I was STILL crying....

I don't know what got a hold of me...merely the unexpected vicious anger from a very upset person...

"Sorry Ella."

"Mommy I'm hungry, are we going to get lunch?"

"Yes, honey. Sorry."

"Why are you crying."

"Because some lady at Panera was very, very mean to me. Does it make you sad when people are mean to you?"

"Yes."

"That's why we should always be nice to people."

I finally pulled myself together enough to go through the drive-thru to get Ella a cheeseburger.

At that point I was partially upset because the whole thing had upset me so much!

But, as Scott said when I talked to him, "You were just assaulted square in the forehead with the anger of the world...Can you imagine living that woman's life. Do you think her family likes her? Do you think she has great friendships? Maybe she's angry about needing to take care of her mother."

Yes. Yes. Yes.

All those things were likely true...

HOWEVER...even if all of those things were going in my life, I would be kinder to people in public...at least gently mentioning that I needed that spot for my elderly mother and ask if the person planned on staying there before publicly humiliating them without knowing the story!

For the record, eight minutes after I pulled out, drove to the grocery store parking lot and then past the front of Panera again... the spot was STILL empty.

Ephesians 4:32...Be kind and compassionate towards one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as Christ forgave you.


If I'm honest, I'm still working on the forgiveness piece here...that ladies face is planted in my memory for all time.

I did also learn several important life lessons...

First, forgiveness is not easy, but very necessary.

Second, I'm grateful for a life in which Christ governs my thinking, actions and reactions to people in the world.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly...Do not park in handicapped spots ever, ever, EVER! Even if you have 10 children under the age of 4 in your car and need to run in for 90 seconds...(For the record, I do often think those parking spots should say "Handicapped or for moms with children under the age of 3"!). 

Confessions of a Crabby Mom

I have been a crabby momma lately...

Just putting it out there...All the cards on the table...

It's partially the time of year-- Buffalo gets gray, gray, gray around this time...Sometimes I don't even realize it's impacting my mood and then we get a sunny day and I'll be dancing in the streets and inviting the whole neighborhood over and wondering, "Whoa! Where'd you come from lady?"

It's partially the season of life that I am in, and admitting that makes me sad...it makes me feel like my love for my girls should overwhelm any frustration, discouragement, and irritability I have about the day to day responsibilities of raising them, yet it does not.

If I'm being totally honest, I hear my husband on the phone somedays, talking to colleagues, and I find myself thinking, I want to talk to colleagues. I want to have creative planning meetings. I want to work on a professional project and realize the excitement of finishing it. 


There are many days when I think I would rather be doing all of those things than spending what feels like the entire day cleaning the kitchen, and putting toys away, and breaking up arguments, and listening to whining about 'no more snacks', or 'no more t.v.', or 'please clean up after yourselves!'

I know it's not that simple...it never is. Scott has an incredibly stressful job and it makes him weary some days too. And for him, after the weariness of his job he gets to enter into the craziness of mine.

Yesterday morning I received an email from a literary magazine looking for subscribers...I read through the email and checked out the link...want to know what I ended up thinking...All those people are celebrating and utilizing their creative minds. They are writing, and creating, and inspiring and working in creative settings where they encourage one another. 


I looked at the kitchen counters again...My workspace was not feeling very inspiring, creative, or stimulating.

One might think that I could find pockets of time in my day to do those things...I used to, a little bit more than now anyway...that was in the days of naps.

How about after the girls go to bed at night? 

Oh my word, I'm so tired by then that I numbly stare at my husband and try to find the energy to think of something to say besides..."Hi. How are you. I'm tired if you couldn't tell."

So after all of this, it came as somewhat of a surprise when I woke up at 6:30 this morning, sighing about getting out of bed, and realized there was a song running through my head...A song I used to sing in Sunday school when I was a kid.

"I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart! 

Where? 

Down in my heart. 

Where? 

Down in my heart. 

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. 

Where? 

Down in my heart to stay!" 

It was as if the activity director of some crazy kids camp had slipped next to my bed just before I woke up and started singing this song as loudly as humanly possibly, partly in jest and partly to get this mommas butt into gear and out of bed. JOYFULLY.

You can't sing that song, or have it go through your head and not partially allow a grin to form. Even if you wind up grinning at the irony of the fact that this, of all songs, would be the one going through your crabby head.

Alright God. I hear ya. So what's the deal. When I'm crabby and in this crazy season of life in which I feel a little lost, and discouraged what do I do? 


Clear as a bell....Have joy in all circumstances.

Grrrr. Joy. When I don't feel like it?! Can't I just have the role of Oscar the Grouch in this act of the drama of my life? Just for a little while anyways?! I can do Oscar REALLY well, I think it would be a good fit.

Clearly again...Your feelings are lying to you. Start speaking joy. 

And then I was reminded of a very important passage of scripture...

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

 ⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

 Sometimes the actions need to come before the emotions. Joy is not merely available when we feel joyful. We are called to ALWAYS be joyful, in EVERYTHING. 


Shucks. I guess I botched that one. Fortunately God is a God of new beginnings...and not just once a year new beginnings, but EVERY day new beginnings. Boy oh boy do I need that everyday grace. Chances are I will practice this today and forget it by tomorrow...and then I'll get crabby and then God so very graciously will send the heavenly activity director to stick a really repetitive children's song in my head so that I get it again.


You see, all those songs our children are taught in Sunday school, they're not really for this season of their lives...I mean, they are, but they aren't. The real reason for those little songs and verses, those memos of encouragement, is so that they lodge themselves in our children's hearts. Then, someday...


When, just like Ava asks so frequently, "Do I get to do all these things when I am a mommy?"


And the answer is yes, except that she is tired of doing them, that little bubble of a song will float out of the space in her heart and will encourage her along for another day...and she will have the tools she needs to take her from crabby mommy...to well, at least not so crabby mommy...


And that is something to be joyful about.  The gift of a childhood song reminding me to have a joyful heart in these days of raising children. 


Off to start my day...And look up that song on You Tube so I can teach it to the girls today! 








Found it!

No Nap No News

Want to know why I don't write a whole lot of blog posts about the girls crazy days any more...

If you guessed that it's because they don't have crazy days any more, you'd be...wrong!

I'm sure you weren't thinking that anyway...not with these girls.

Nope. I don't write here a whole lot anymore because instead of finding that I have more and more time as they get older, I have less and less...especially since Ella decided to put the nix on her napping...

That's right, with the end of the binky era came the end of the nap era...apparently naps were only appealing when there was a piece of suckable rubber to accompany them...Sigh.

So, little Miss Ella who is not even 3 has not been napping for a good two to three months now...that means mommy doesn't have a whole lot of down time during the day.

Not only is she not napping, but they go to bed earlier (like 8:15) and Ella is typically up by 7:15...which means the time I used to get in the morning to pray and read and write...well, it's been significantly shortened...

What's a momma to do?

Keep on keeping on, I suppose.

So, life is still crazy here... I still wonder if we own a zoo rather than a home on many days...

Here are a few pictures in lieu of the words I have no time to write...

Ava had a "Happy Birthday Jesus" party at school...that is her teacher holding the cake, and then Ava getting ready to pray before we ate cake!

Ella got two stickers from the doctor's office...most kids put them on their shirts or coats...not this one! 

matching Christmas jammies...

new hats!

new sunglasses!

on left...Ava's g-bread house from school...on right, ours from home...I know, I know, you can place an order for some of this g-bread beauty from us early next December! 

the chalk board I briefly brought upstairs until E wrote ALL over it with a marker...that was the end of that! For the record, I think some kids get an extra gene that makes them write on walls, tables, counters...anything that should NOT be written on...A NEVER did this...E, she writes on EVERYTHING she should not! 

Apparently, when hiding from mommy who is running around like a crazy lady yelling at everyone to clean up their junk...the cupboard is a really good hiding place! 

p.s. just realized that I had intended to post this to my Our Little Monkey's page...haha...managing to different blog spaces doesn't happen very well with the conclusion of naps either!!! 

Managing Momma Monday: Happy Wife, Happy Life

      Several years ago, while we were still living in Massachusetts, a friend from our church (a guy) gave Scott a "welcome to fatherhood" gift.

     Mark's (the guy) wild hair and ruddy face often welcomed us at the door to the elementary school where our small start-up church met. It was a small community and everyone knew everyone, we visited each other's homes, we held each others babies...there were not a lot of resources but there was a TON of intimacy and fellowship. I loved that about that church.

     Mark's son's were a bit older (teenagers), his wife ran her own business, he worked hard as an electrician to meet his family's needs. He was the kind of guy, you could tell from his face, that knew a thing or two about life.

     The gift he bestowed on Scott was likely one of those nuggets of wisdom he had learned through his years and experience as dad and husband.  He jovially presented Scott with the gift in church one Sunday. It was a sign that said...

     The sign is floating around the house somewhere...We seem to come across it at random moments and end up joking about it for several days. We always intend to hang it up and then it finds its way back to a corner of our basement before we get a chance to do so. Scott would probably tell you that there is more truth to that sign than to anything else he has learned in his life as a husband and a father...

     I'm not so sure I'm happy he feels that way...

     The last time it was out and about and making it's way into prominent spots in our house  (jokingly on top of the counter or a workbench or some other place one of us would place it as evidence for the other), I remember being a quite convicted by that little sign. 

     I know that when that nice guy from church gave the sign to Scott it was meant to be in jest at the life and the relationship that typically ends up coming to fruition between men and women, especially after they have children: Nagging wife...Henpecked husband.

     Wife has a honey do list. Wife wants football turned off. Wife wants help with a meal, or vacuuming the floor. Wife wants husband to be more gentle with the children, more engaged with their discipline, more spiritual, more hands-on, more in tuned with all of the details going on in her head at any given moment of any given day. 

     Basically...according to the sign...if man does all of the things we want of him, then we will be happy and life will be good.

      How's that approach working for you? I know it hasn't been super successful over in this little corner of the world. 

     That sort of mentality does not really seem to lead to a happy life...it simply seems to lend itself to a husband who feels undervalued and not appreciated...maybe a little bit sarcastic and resentful at the expectations set for him. It lends itself to a wife feeling self-righteous and deserving and frustrated that her husband is not meeting her unachievable expectations. 

     At the end of the day...it's just plain selfish. 

"But for Adam no suitable helper was found," says Genesis 2:20b. "So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God mad woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said,

              This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
              She shall be called 'woman', for she was taken out of man.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be untied to his wife and they will become one flesh."

     I am convicted by the words of that sign. But I am even more convicted by the words of God. We were created to be our husband's helper...Not the other way around, which is how we ironically often like to see it. 

    This week I'm going to make it a priority to ask my guy if there are any ways that I can help him?  He's probably going to be so shocked that he might fall right over and onto the floor. 

    More than likely he will get a broad smirk across his face because he'll know that I recently read something, or heard something, or was convicted by something that I know I should be doing...He might even guessed that I've blogged about it and now need to follow my own advice....I'll smile back and say, "I know babe, I'm trying." 

     Meanwhile, I may just try to unearth that sign from our basement this week. I'm going to put it in my office...a space in which the sign will be meant not for my husband and how he should be approaching our relationship, but a reminder to me that I have the power to bring happiness into my household simply by, well, being happy...

     Sometimes that's a choice. Sometimes that's a feeling. Always it should be the aim of our actions as women who set the stage as the 'barometers of our homes' (not sure who said that, but I love it's implications). 

     Be a happy helper this week and see for yourself if it doesn't lend itself to creating a happier life. 

     Blessings, 

     Little Writer Momma

P.S. On Mondays the idea is to offer thoughts, ideas and suggestions on how we can be better wives, moms and quite simply, women in general...If you have a recent post that in some way, shape or form, does that, please link up here! (I.e. it could be a way you are teaching the Bible to your children, thoughts on how to manage your emotions, eat healthier, provide healthier meals for your family, organize your house...etc, etc. etc....the list of ways we "better" ourselves and our homes is long and broad...so feel free to link up and hopefully encourage someone else along the way!