Waving My Wand

Are you a momma who has ever wished she had a magic wand?

A magic wand to...

• Make meals
• Sort, wash, dry, fold and put all of the laundry away
• Do your grocery shopping
• Organize your children's school paperwork
• Organize the itty bitty pieces that belong to your children's overabundance of toys
• Clean up after making meals
• Plan meals
• Make more meals
• Make all the beds in the house all at once
• Clean the inch thick layer of dust off of the cabinet hanging over the toilet and on ALL light fixtures
• Pull all of the out of season clothing out of closets, sort it and put it away. Then hang all the new, in-season clothing for multiple children.
• Go shopping for boots, gloves, hats, socks...all the warm weather stuff...for multiple children
• Return the endless bounty of things that wind up needing to be returned because they are defective or don't fit and wind up sitting in our mud room until that can no longer be returned 
• Iron your clothes that have been crumpled at the bottom of your bed or in a laundry basket for too long
• Make your weekly Target trip for diapers, and toilet paper and wipes and juice boxes and stickers and crayons and paper and...the list goes on.
• Take your shower for you...poof...in one minute- cleaned, hair washed,dried and ready to go (why must this take SO long?!)...while we're onto this...maybe the wand can shave my legs, dye my roots and paint my toenails all at the same time...
• Organize my refrigerator and freezer so I don't buy a 17th bag of frozen peas because I was sure we were out of them! 

I'm sure you could all add a lengthy number of items to this list as well...My friend Dana from church wrote this on Facebook yesterday...

  

"I feel like I'm about a month behind on life."

Oh momma, I feel you! I do too!

If the magic wand could just do all of those things for me I could finally more consistently get around to the things that feel more important to me...the things that I wind up feeling guilty and sad for not getting to...

• Going on dates with my husband
• Going for long walks with my kids
• Working on memorizing Bible verses with my kids or listening to good music or taking them to the ballet...
• Working on the blog posts that I'd love to share or starting the book that thumps around in my heart and mind daily. 
• Making cookies for my neighbors. 
• Eating my lunch without shoveling into my mouth like I'm in a donut eating contest vying for the most amount of food in the shortest amount of time
• Pulling out my vegetarian cookbook and trying something new

This list could go on and on too.

I know. I know. We're supposed to put those things on the second list FIRST. But it's HARD...isn't it? It doesn't quite work that way all the time. 

I have another confession here...

I never expected motherhood to be this all consuming. To be this...dare I say it aloud...overwhelming. 

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now. 

No one told me you would love your kids SO immensely, but that they would present so many new needs and demands and "to-dos" into your life that you would feel like you could hardly keep up. That you would begin to feel like a cooking, cleaning, shopping, management machine...

That you would feel like you no longer had time to do the things you used to love to do...That you would feel like you were running so fast and so non-stop just to keep up with the daily stuff (we're not even talking extras here!) that you feel like someone should give you a permanent brown paper bag in case you start hyperventilating. 

That you would TRY your best to enjoy the moments, just like everyone says, but that you would be quite surprised by the fact that they must be enjoyed in the midst of such chaos. 

Who knew?! 

...That you would feel sad that you no longer had time to do the things you used to like to do and that you would then feel sad for feeling sad because it somehow felt like you were a bad mom for feeling sad about it all...

I haven't blogged a whole lot lately...in part because I haven't had the time. 

In part because I feared that if I sat down to blog it would all sound like this...blah, blah, blah...overwhelmed...blah, blah, blah...tired...blah, blah, blah...this is nuts...blah, blah, blah...did I mention that I'm wee bit overwhelmed?

Here's another confession...Somehow, when you have your first child it feels ok to mention that you feel this way. It's all new. It's a life change. You're allowed to be shocked and feel a little crazed and dizzy and hazed. 

By baby #3...it feels, ironically, like you should have your act together. Like admitting that you feel overwhelmed is going to make people look at you like you're whiney and need to get your act together. 

So friends, I'm sorry if I sound whiney...I AM trying to get my act together...I SWEAR. 

I went on a field trip with Ella yesterday and was having a chat with another mom, who also has three (her youngest is 8 months old), about all of the craziness in our lives. 

I might have let my guard down and confessed that it all felt overwhelming.

She might have been totally candid and laughed while she said, "Oh gosh...I feel overwhelmed EVERY day of my life." 

I might have wanted to give her the most giant hug ever because her one moment of honesty helped me feel a little bit better about how I was honestly feeling. 

Instead I decided to be brave and just share it all here...that way if anyone else is feeling this way you can feel a little bit better too.

Dear Tired and Overwhelmed Momma, 

I want you to know that you are not the only one feeling the way that you do. I feel that way too! I'm sorry I can't come over and help you with all that needs to be done, but know that my house is JUST as messy as yours and many parts of my life feel just as neglected as yours and I'm hoping we'll be able to stand back and laugh about this all someday...

 I wish I could come over and give you a hug right now. I would sit in your mess or your could sit in mine and we could just laugh about it all. Laughter IS one of the best medicines (next to prayer!). I often think about inviting you over, but it feels...well, messy and overwhelming to do so...but maybe I'll get past that and just do it one of these days anyways. 

For now...we must try to do the things on our "B" list despite the things on our "A" list. We must love and hug in the midst of messes and enjoy the small moments in the midst of chaos. 

  Even though we feel disconnected sometimes, we're all actually in this crazy mess     together and I'm saying a prayer for you today.  

                                     Blessings to you, 
                                                                    Lisa



To leave you on a lighter note I must give my husband partial credit for inspiring this blog post. I was heading out of the house this morning to come to Starbucks to eek a blog post out of my hazy brain...I was going through the list of things that needed to be done and why I should not be going to sit at Starbucks to write a blog post (can you say major mommy/wifely guilt?!).

He said, Lisa, you need a magic "let it go" wand. When all of this stuff starts to make you anxious you need to wave the wand and say "let it go".  He asked Ella to bring him one of her wands. He handed it to the baby and let her wave it around for a minute (before she could put it in her mouth!).

"Let it go mom! Let it go." 

How can you not laugh at that?

So, I walked about of the door with my big computer bag and my books and my pens and my paper. I'm trying to let it all go...even though I confess I'm writing mental to-do lists as I sit here. I realize this is a season and we'll get it all figured out...or, at the very least, we'll get through it. Hopefully with a smile on our face and a pocketful of crazy memories.

And I suppose, if I really did have a magic wand, and the only thing it did was to  help me "let it all go" I'd probably be on a better road to mommy perspective recovery.

Really, at the end of the day, it's not about what we do or don't do or need to do...it's about our perspective in all that we do.

I'm going to keep waving that wand (or having Aubrey do it because it's way cuter !).

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  Philippians 4:6

    

Losing My Mind...

     You know it's been a long and somewhat chaotic couple of weeks when your Google searches look like this...

     Ah yes, the days of "mommy brain". 

     I'm not sure how long it actually lasts...I think I'm still attempting to recover brain cells from when Ava was first born and it's only gotten worse with each subsequent child.  Some women will tell you that it starts to come back when your kids leave the house, but oh wait, by then you are close to wearing bifocals and losing your memory due to age so that's not so helpful. 

     My mommy brain stories are beginning to become the stuff of legend around these parts...Like the time shortly after Ava was born and Scott and I came into Buffalo to visit for the weekend (we were still living in MA at the time) and I drove his younger sister Caitlyn and I to the gym in his step mom's car. Caitlyn and I were in the gym for almost a full hour when we decided to wrap things up and head home. I reached into my pocket for the keys...nothing. 

     Uh-oh. 

     I looked in the locker. Nothing.

     At the front desk. Nothing.

     In the cup holder of the treadmill I had been jogging on. Nothing. 

     It finally dawned on me that maybe we should run out to the car...that perhaps in a moment of distraction I had left the keys on the front seat of the car, or somewhere else inside the car, as I grabbed my water bottle and headphones to head into the gym. 

     As we approached the car I noticed exhaust emanating from the back into the cool winter air. 

     No way. It couldn't be. The car could NOT still be on. Still. After an entire hour. 

     I looked at Caitlyn. She looked back at me. 

     "Lis! Hahaha. Is the car still on?! Nice work!" 

     Good heavens it certainly was. Not only had I left the keys IN the car I had left them in the ignition with the car running! 

     I'm guessing you can see why Caitlyn has never let me live that down. 

     ....Soooo... I thought I was recovering. I mean I'm not always the most organized momma and I do lose my keys and wallets and debit cards from time to time, but things always show up...somewhere. 

     Which leads me to two recent stories that just might top the keys in the ignition at the gym story...about how things, somehow, came back to me after being in places they should not have been! 

     Namely, my wallet. 

     Several weeks ago I decided to get my grocery shopping done in the morning with  Ella and Aubrey so that our evening would be more relaxed and I wouldn't have to run out right after dinner. I've figured out how to carry Aubrey in the front pack (which she much prefers to the cart), and Ella at my side while working through a pretty hefty grocery list so all was going well until...

     Until, we got out to the car and swarms of pesky bees were shooting about, dodging my cart,  and flying around our car like an attack of the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz. 

     I quickly threw Aubrey's carseat in the back of the car, hoisted Ella in and slammed the door shut. I then threw our 20+ bags of groceries into the back of the truck as quickly as I could, shoved my cart in front of the car (no, I did not take the time to walk it to a corral...no judgement allowed for women with small children!) and skirted into the driver's seat as fast as possible. 

     Phew. 

     Grocery shopping done. Bees dodged. Now to stop at Tim Horton's to get Ella a sandwich for lunch so that she could eat as soon as we got home and we'd be all set. 

     We drove the three or so miles to the nearest Tim Horton's and were waiting in the drive-thru when a lady in a white convertible behind our car started waving at me. 

     What in heaven's name does this woman want? Do I know her? Did I cut her off? Does she need to cut in front of me to buy her donuts? 

     I roll down my window to find out. 

     "Mam! Mam! There is something sitting on your bumper. It looks like a wallet!" She followed it up with a high eyebrow raise that said, And if it is I just might think you are an idiot. 

     I get out of the car...mortified...without even having to look I know that what she is saying is most certainly true. In the middle of the frenzy of getting two kids in the car and shooing bees I had stuck my wallet on the bumper, loaded the kids and then the groceries and drove off on our merry way. 

    My wallet apparently hung on for dear life...For THREE miles! 

     I sheepishly shook my head, rolled my eyes in an "I can't believe myself" sort of way...grabbed the wallet off of the back of my bumper and got back in the car. 

    "Mom, what did that lady want?" Ella innocently asked. 

    "Oh honey...mommy left her wallet on the back of the car." 

     She apparently didn't think that was too out of character for me because she pretty much shrugged her shoulders and began giving me the low down on the type of donut she wanted for dessert. 

     I shook my head all the way home and started to internally question my sanity. 

     I also tried to look for a silver lining in the story... I'm always trying to figure out the learning lesson, or the God lesson in my every day shenanigans. Perhaps it is the former teacher in me, or even better the part of me that has always loved to learn. Or maybe it is that such ridiculous things seem to happen to me that I am convinced that either someone is following me in an attempt to get footage for America's Funniest videos or God MUST be trying to teach me something. 

      We are, after all,  always changing, growing, and hopefully becoming better versions of ourselves, right?  I'm learning this as a mom...that I am constantly presented with opportunities to grow, to change, to do something a little bit differently next time...

     Like maybe to not leave my wallet on the back of the car no matter how big the swarm of bees! 

    Or perhaps a lesson in slowing down. Who knows? 

     By the time we pulled into the driveway five minutes later I was laughing to myself. How did that wallet stay on the back of the car for all of those miles?! I swear I could hear God looking down and laughing at me too...in a light hearted, "Oh Lisa" sort of way. The way we look at our own kids when they do something so ridiculous that it is actually funny... the things that make me look at them, roll my eyes and say, "You are such a goofball!" 

     It seemed to me that the fact that my wallet stayed on the back of the car was akin to a small miracle in my life. The kind of small miracle that says, "See, I'm with you in the crazy details of life right now. Wallet, kids, bees and all." 

    It was the little iota of encouragement that I needed to carry me through the rest of the day.

    It may be a story that Ella tells people for years to come..."Oh my mom...um...yeah, she does stuff like that all the time, but we love her anyways!"  

    Anyhow...there is actually one other story...that includes my wallet...that happened just days after this and actually did prompt that "memory loss" google search on my computer. However, since it's getting late and I'm a tired momma, I'm going to leave that story for another day... 

     In the meantime be encouraged by your own crazy moments.  Maybe God is using them to teach you a lesson about parenting, or just to remind you that He is there...either way, I can promise you that laughter truly is the best medicine, even when it is at yourself. 

Top 10 Things I Love About My Husband, Part 2

I was shooting to post this by the end of the day today, and somehow have made it...the second half of my top 10 list! 



#5 He's a Good Cook

     We may not be talking gourmet meals here, but the man can make a darned good chicken (or eggplant!)  parm and an even better apple pie. As a matter of fact he made a big pie dish of apple crisp the other night while I was working on Part 1 of this post. It was YUMMO!

     Scott is also very well known (around these parts!) for his waffles, pancakes, omelets, chocolate chip cookies and mashed potatoes. He can also make a pretty mean bucket of veggie risotto!

     The girls now know Saturday morning as pancake and omelet morning and look forward to it all week! I'm not a big pancake girl, but I will admit that his are very good...His omelets, they are to die for!!! Carmelized onions, broccoli, peppers, zucchini...whatever we have in the house sautéed perfectly and added to perfectly cooked eggs.

     He has created such a reputation for himself that my sister recently asked if she could reserve a seat at our counter on the morning of her birthday in February so that she could start the day with one of his omelets. He's also become the go to pie guy for family holidays...Scott's coming, "Can he bring a pie?" Why sure! I'll bring my soggy green bean casserole and Scott will marvel everyone with his delicious apple pie.


#4 He's Pretty Darned Cute

     Alright, I don't say it aloud very often (though I probably should) and it makes me feel a little school girlish, but my hubby is a handsome guy. He's got the best hair, big blue eyes and looks great in a suit. He also looks great slightly unshaven in a pair of jeans and a gray or blue henley long sleeve t-shirt. His big blue eyes were one of the first things I noticed when I met him (I was his waitress....that is another story entirely!) and they left a lasting impression (obviously!).

     He says the cutest thing to me all the time..."Babe, after all this time I still think you're pretty cute!"

     I don't say it nearly enough, so here goes..."Babe, after all this time I still think you're pretty cute!"



#3 He's Handy Around the House AND Washes Floors

     I'm sure he would not say that he is the ultimate craftsman, but he is willing to tackle or at least try any house project once, and is a quick study. In the ten years that we've been married he's installed windows, doors, floors, trim...all sorts of home improvement projects. Sometimes they take a little bit longer than expected, but they (mostly) eventually get done.

     He is also incredibly good about washing the floors, and I must confess I haven't had a good reason to stop him (why mess with a good thing, right?!). I'm the picker upper around the house and he is the floor guy. I'm not sure how that started, but I'm not complaining (if I'm totally honest I don't really love washing floors...). I know a lot of women gripe about how their husbands aren't so helpful in the domestic realm...I would never, ever say that. Scott is super, duper helpful and I'm super duper thankful.

     I must give a shout out to his mom here because she taught him everything he knows about sorting laundry and cleaning floorboards! Thanks Nance!!!


#2 He is a Man of Strong Moral Conviction

     Scott and I both hold our faith in God to be a first priority in our lives. It guides our relationship with others, it sustains our marriage and it is a strong part of the foundation that we are working to lay in our girls lives. Scott will be the first to tell you that we live in a messy world and that everyone needs Jesus in their lives. Amen to that. There is nothing I love more than to look over at the couch on a random morning where he's gathered all three of our girls and is reading them a story from one of the children's devotionals or Bibles that we own. We always pray before dinner and before bed and we're trying to teach the girls how to pray on their own. Church is a big priority for us on Sunday mornings (though that's been challenging with the baby lately!) and it always will be. I feel incredibly blessed to have found a partner who is on the same page as me in such important matters of the heart and our spiritual lives.



#1 He is an incredible father who is fun loving and spontaneous.

     Alright, so here is the picture that inspired this Top 10 list in the first place...the moment that left me thinking about how lucky I am!

    So, here's the story. It was Sunday morning and we had spent the weekend camping. It was a wet weekend and we hadn't spent much time outside doing fun or "campy" things, though the girls had had a ton of fun playing with their cousins anyways. 

    Checkout was 11 a.m. and my sister had already left with her boys (it was about 10:40ish). I had taken the girls for a walk while Scott loaded the car and then asked if he wanted to take them for a quick walk before we left. Aubrey was finishing up a morning nap (which was going to make all of our lives easier on the way home!) and so I hung out at the cabin while they went for their walk. At one point I decided to walk across the road and peek up over the hill to see if I could see them around the pond. Instead of seeing them walking I saw them...in a canoe!!!! 

    I would have never been so spontaneous to ask the guy at the dock for a canoe and life jackets 20 minutes before we were supposed to check out!!! I LOVE that Scott decided too!! He is incredibly fantasitc when it comes to living life to the fullest and making the most of opportunities. I do that too...sometimes...but my "to-do" list can often distract me. He's Mr. Go With the Flow 'lets jump in a canoe'!! 

     When I looked over that ridge and saw them paddling away, that is the moment I said to myself, "THIS is why I married this man. I love him to pieces!" 

And so there you have it. I realized as I was writing this that I could probably come up with another ten or twelve more, but I'll end here for now because it's late. If you've never done a top ten for your own husband you should give it a try-- it was a total joy for me to write and even more fun to read aloud to Scott. If you're anything like me we don't say the things we think or mean to say nearly enough to those we love, so give this a shot and see what happens. 

The Top 10 Reasons I Love My Husband, Part 1

         Do you ever have one of those moments when your spouse does something that completely catches you off guard (in a good way)? Something that leaves you just shaking your head, staring at him, and saying to yourself, "That is EXACTLY why I love my husband. THAT is why I married him." 

     I had one of those moments this past weekend. As I got to thinking about that moment and this post I decided that instead of just telling you about the one moment, I'd come up with a "Top 10"... the perfect  tribute for the 10 years of marriage we will be celebrating in just three weeks! 

      So, without further adieu, here they are...

#10 He's incredibly patient and forgiving. 

     He has this thing he says to me, usually when I've been all crazy, hormonal mommy lady, crying or going off the hook about something and then I finally get my act together and apologize. My apology usually includes, "I'm so sorry your stuck with me babe." 

     Want to know what he says to me...

"I'd marry you all over again." 

     What? Are you serious? You'd marry this crazy, sensitive, sometimes over reacting woman all over again? 

     Good grief...I'm a lucky lady, aren't I? 

     Thanks babe...I'd marry you all over again too. 


#9 He's HILARIOUS! 

     I can't tell you how many times I've been in a funk and Scott says something that just completely cracks me up. Something so out of the blue and off the cuff, but so completely accurate and true that you cannot help but laugh hysterically. 

      For example, a couple of weeks ago, I was on my way to the gym and I put this pair of yoga pants on. I was tired and didn't know where any of my clothes were in the mountains of laundry that have erupted around the house. I've also lost quite a bit of weight since the baby was born and some of my clothes don't fit very well. Or I bought them to fit my body 20 lbs. ago and now they just hang funny, or whatever...

     So these pants...they were AWFUL. I can't believe I ever wore them out of the house but in some odd moment of inspiration I purchased them and used to wear them to the gym. They hit my calves in a really weird spot and flared out far too much at the bottom. But then I thought, maybe they're not that awful. Maybe they're ok for the gym. Maybe I'll see what Scott thinks. 

    "Babe, what do you think about these pants?" I ask from the stairs that lead up to our bedrooms. 

     "Ah, you know," pause...completely serious face..."They look a little like hobbit pants. Do you have a part in the Hobbit movie?" 

     I just started laughing hysterically. 

     Only a husband who has been married for 10 years can look at his wife and tell her she has Hobbit pants on and have the moment be more hilarious than serious.  I love that! 

     This is probably not the best example of his hilarity (is that a word?)...just trust me, if you spend enough time with him you will probably wind up laughing. 

#8 He's a Glass Half Full Kind of Guy

     Scott has the BEST perspective on things. No matter what is going on in my head he always has a different, more optimistic way of looking at things that totally helps me to gain perspective on the situation and see things in a better light. I've stopped counting the number of times I was feeling kind of crabby about something and he offers an analogy, or bit of advice that turns things around for me. He fills my sometimes half empty glass to the brim...We all need a little bit of that in our lives! 

#7 He's Not Afraid to Try New Things

     If he is interested in doing something he jumps in with gusto. My favorite story is when he first started to play the guitar. He started playing on this little kid, mini guitar and had just recently upgraded to an inexpensive acoustic guitar. He knew just a few chords and had never taken a lesson.

     While we were on a weekend retreat with a group from our church in Massachusetts someone mentioned that they needed a guitar player for their worship team for the "20 Something" group at the church. Scott confidentially told them he knew how to play the guitar, started playing with the group and has learned everything he knows along the way. I must confess, it was painful to watch those first couple of times that he played...I cringed as I watched him publicly try to figure out the chords. He could have cared less! He was making it happen! 

    It would have taken me YEARS to feel like I could volunteer to do something like that...he's now been playing with church worship teams for years and loves every minute of it! I think about this story every time I'm timid about trying something new and feel encouraged by it.  I also know he will impart this kind of gumption into our girls lives as well and I'm incredibly thankful for that. 


#6 He Doesn't Care What Other People Think

     Let me just tell you that prior to meeting Scott I had very strong opinions about men who wore socks with sandals. Sorry if you are the socks with sandals type or think that is the ultimate in sexy...I thought it was kind of...dorky. Just not my cup of tea, ya know?! 

     So, imagine that a month or two after meeting him and completely having my socks knocked off (hehe...pun intended), he showed up somewhere in Birkenstocks with socks on!!! Hahahahaha. The irony of this is so very funny...By that time I was so head over heels...his Birkenstock heels...that I actually LOVED the fact the he cared so little about what anyone thought about him in his socks and sandals that I actually found it completely endearing. Go figure! 


     Alright...that is Part 1 of my Top 10. I was going to put this all in one post, but then realized I had so much to say (and so little time to actually write this post!) that I figured I'd better break it up. I also need to get home to nurse a baby...she likes to see her momma before bed so my writing hours are short these days! 

     I can't make any promises, but I hope to have Part 2 up by Thursday! The rest of the list, including the moment that inspired the list in the first place! 

     Until then leave a comment below about one of your favorite things about your hubby!!! In a culture where the foundation of marriage has become so rocky and commitment often seems to be more rare than normal, I LOVE sharing and hearing about the good and the beautiful that women find in their marriages. I love hearing about how you love your husbands! 

     Better yet, if you have a blog and want to write your own top 10, let me know and I'll post your link in one of my upcoming posts!