Friday, July 8

Bringing Out the Best and Other Ramblings...

     I know it's only been a little over a week, but it feels like FOREVER since I've written a post...boy, if that didn't sound like the opening sentence in a sixteen year old's diary!

     Well, here is where I'll spare you...I won't share every little detail about my life over the last week, and you definitely won't be hearing about crushes and broken hearts...I gotta tell ya, that's one of the best things about being married-- you no longer have to live out all of that boy related drama...although, I suppose there is new male/female related drama once you are married...but it is WAAAYYY better than the old drama...I swear!

     So, what have we been up to? Well, I've decided to start practicing a better "evil eye" look for all the unsolicited advice that seems to come my way (more about that in a minute!), and my children are just as adorable and just as nutty, making me just as full of love and adoration and ready to pull my hair out at any moment as usual.

     Well, that sums that up, huh?!

     I'll tell you about the girls first...I'll just use today as an example.

     I came home from the class I've been teaching all week at about noon...I put them both down for naps at 2 because I couldn't fathom for one more second having enough energy to chase them around all afternoon.

     I had all of these great plans when I came home today...I had had a great week teaching, really enjoyed my lessons and the kids I got to work with, and had all sorts of great ideas of things to do with the girls after lunch; hang out peacefully in the back yard, take a nice leisurely stroll down the street, just enjoy the beautiful day.

     Apparently there is something about my presence that brings out the worst... qualities in my suddenly falling all over themselves, screaming at the top of their lungs, peeing on floors and smudging red ink all over their hands...

     Caitlin (their aunt who watched them all morning) said, Lis, they've been fine all morning...they always do this when you get home. 

     Why does it feel like this isn't the first time I've heard that line.

     Within 5 minutes of my walking in the door, Ava had slipped and fallen on the patio near her wading pool and started screaming (because EVERY fall in this house deserves a good scream no matter how big or small!), and Ella was streaking through the house naked flinging fishy pretzles all over the floor and then attempting to push them into the slot of a toy I had just picked up from a garage sale.


     We finally get everybody settled down and fed, I start cleaning up the kitchen and tell them in 10 minutes we're going to take a walk. I set them up with some new rubber stamps and paper in the hallway (they've used the stamps before, so this was not a new thing).

     Six minutes later, I hear "Mommy, I peeing!"

     Crap! That only means one thing. That somehow, despite the diaper, pee is making its way onto the floor.


     I don't mean to scream, but I'm so surprised that it just comes out. At which point she gets upset and starts crying and is unable to hold the rest of the pee, so I carry her crying and tinkling pee all over the floor to the bathroom, at which point I pull her pull-up down (which she had put on backwards by herself  1/2 an hour ago, which led to the dripping) and she finishes by peeing ALL over my hand.

     Meanwhile, Ava is already in the bathroom cleaning red ink off of her hands because she decided that smearing the entire front and back of her hand with red ink would be WAY more fun then just using it to make the appropriate stamps on her paper...

     "YOU are not using stamps for the rest of the weekend...GET IN BATHROOM AND CLEAN THAT OFF YOUR HANDS NOW!!" I had just finished saying ever so gently to her.

    Ever so gently. I swear. she is cleaning red ink off her hands I bring tinkling little Ella into the bathroom and we manage to find ourselves standing in a MAJOR puddle of pee...

     "Ava, out of the bathroom. Ella sit there until I can find something to clean you with!" I say as I run to the kitchen to find paper towels, suddenly remembering how much potty training a child can sometimes feel like potty training a dog and why we are SO not ready with Ella yet.

    "But MOOOMMMM! There is PEEE ALLLLL OVER the floor....I AM NOT stepping in PEEEE!!!!" Ava shrieks from the bathroom.

     I get back in the bathroom, carry Ava out and set her in the hallway. I tell her to go upstairs and find something to clean in her bedroom (there is ALWAYS something to clean up in her bedroom).

     I manage to clean up Ella as best as possible and tell her to head up towards the bathtub, or, as Scott likes to say, she was going to small like a Porto John for the rest of the afternoon.

    I look up at the clock...1:30...So much for our walk, but at last nap time is only 1/2 an hour a way.

    You can make it for another 1/2 hour Lis. A 1/2 hour is nothing! 

    These are the kind of pep talks I give myself throughout the day.

     Ava wants to know if she can take the clothes off her new Tangled doll and take her in the tub...I have to tell her she is not going in the tub because it causes too many fights. I send her out to the wading pool in the back and leave Ella in the tub upstairs, and even though I have to run back and forth to check on the two locations, it's way better than refereeing fights.

     We make it till naptime. Hooray!

     I know having Ava take a nap will cost me later (because she won't fall asleep until after 10!), but today it is WELL worth it.

     I bribe her by telling her she'll be able to stay up later and that Daddy will make a fire and we'll make smore's.

     She likes that idea.

     So...that was my day...just a slice of the life. I'm sure all of you mommas have similar stories...

     It's like that quote I referenced a couple of weeks ago from my former pastor..."I got problems. You got problems. ALL God's children got problems."

     Only I think we should revise to say..."My days are nutty. Your days are nutty. All God's mommas got nutty days."

     And that's that.

     I'll tell you about the unsolicited advice in a post on a later day...


  1. Oh my gosh, Lis, you have to write a book! These are some of the funniest stories and I just can't get enough of your nutty adventures with these two! Hahah, I know you can though! Does it make you feel any better that they make me smile even though they make you crazy!?!?


  2. haha. Yes, Lin, it makes me feel a teeny weeny better that I am at least making you smile!


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